Spencer Reid falling apart
by Emili Rei
Summary: Reid is having drug problems,and just in time to see him fall apart is Lila and her and Reid's daughter! has Tobias somehow come back to life, the young genius begins to think his life is to crazy to be REAL... ReidXLila warning violence and such R&R PLZ
1. Prologue

_Criminal Minds Fan-Fiction _

_"Stranger Things"_

**_Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own criminal minds or it would not be a FAN fiction X3_**

**_PLEASE REVIEW!_**

**_WARNING: drug abuse, adult situations, possible spoilers, and mentions of rape in later chapters~ THNX~_**

**_Also note as the chapters progress it will get more mature and in depth. Also YOUR reviews can and will effect the story!_**

Prologue: What goes around comes back around

Reid blinked. Several times, quickly, his eyes dry as he stared up at the pictures of corpse's. JJ was saying something about them, but Reid couldn't hear her. And his vision of her was a blur. He rubbed his temples, then began tapping repeatedly, and twitchingly. He tapped his foot nervously, and blinked several times again. Before he realized it, the whole team was looking at him. automatically he responded, "I'm f-f-fine."

"No one asked man." Morgan said, concert edging his voice, as he stared at the brown haired boy. His hair was even messier than usual, his skin even paler, and his eyes were blood shot, black and pinkish purple under them.

He bit at his lip, blinked again, then half smiled and looked back at the screen. "Well, Uh," He cleared his throat. "These murders have been taking place pretty far apart in a short amount of time, it's only logical theres more than one unsub, it's geologically impossible for one person to travel and murder around these areas that quickly." He quickly changed the subject back to the murders, and the team began discussing the case again. Reid sighed lightly in relief.

But then he heard her voice.

His heart skipped a beat.

He turned, along with the rest of his team to see the girl struggling to get past security and run into the office they were all having their meeting in. They all recognized her.

Lila.

Reid stood from his chair, and ran to her; okaying her to come in. They looked into each other's eyes, and she lightly touched his face, as a tear slipped down her face. "Spencer…"

He looked away from her, "What are you doing her Lila." He asked, barley actable, refusing to look her in the eyes despite her efforts.

"Spencer, have you been-" She started to ask softly, looking him over,

But he interrupted her, "Why are you here!" He yelled. His team was taken aback by this. They had NEVER seen Reid yell, or even get angry. It shocked them, and they weren't sure how to take it, so they just watched silently. Lila just shook her head and said his name again, and he grabbed her arm, "Why!" He yelled over and over and she began to cry.

Reid stopped.

He noticed a young girl clinging to Lila from behind her leg. She looked up at him with big, innocent brown eyes. Her hair was light brown, and slightly wavy, and her skin was pale. Lila looked at Reid. He started ti back away, because he knew what she was going to say before she said it. "This is Haley. She's 6 years old."

"No…" He whispered, the team couldn't hear him, and Lila ignored it. Another tear slipping down her face. Haley came out from behind Lila, and stared up at Reid as she walked toward him then stopped, looking like she might cry too. Finally Lila finished, "And she is your daughter."


	2. Chapter 1 even the best fall down

Criminal Minds Fan-Fiction

"stranger things"

**_Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own criminal minds or it would not be a FAN fiction X3_**

**_PLEASE REVIEW!_**

**_WARNING: drug abuse, adult situations, possible spoilers, and mentions of rape in later chapters~ THNX~_**

**_Also note as the chapters progress it will get more mature and in depth. Also YOUR reviews can and will effect the story!_**

Chapter one: Even the best Fall down

"You don't like me…" Lila started to ask, looking up at him, clinging to him in the pool, as the cold night air pressed against their warming skin.

"No, no, I do! This-" He stuttered, looking at her and gulping, then pulling his wet hair back behind his ears, "This is totally inappropriate! I'm suppose to keep you safe-"

Before he could finish she moved closer, pressing body against his under the water. His heart skipped a beat as he felt her bare sin touch him through his thin, drenched clothing. She smirked slightly, looking up at him again, feeling victorious as she felt his arousal. He gulped, "T-that's not my fau-" Before he could finish she took his lips. She touched his face with one hand, and touched his neck with the other. After a moment he depended the kiss, and wrapped her arms around her, twirling his fingers in her blonde hair. He flipped their positions, so she now had her back to the edge of the pool, then pushed her up against it and began kissing her more passionately. Both their hearts race.

He rested his leg between her legs, his knee against the pool edge, and she pulled off his soaked shirt. He shivered slightly, then leaned in to kiss her neck. She smiled, and ran her hands down his bare back. She felt all his muscles, bones, and the softness of his pale skin. Her fingers then began to trail down to his pants, and with some struggle she managed to get them off and they sank to the bottom of the pool. His face turned red, as he was totally naked now; and he was half glad the water hid his body some; not to say his body wasn't AMAZING, but he was always very self conscious.

She giggled, realizing he was getting embarrassed, and untied her bathing suit top. He then forgot about his embarrassment, distracted by her bare chest. She laughed slightly, and began kissing him again. She lead at first, but he soon took control again.

He pushed her harder, up against the wall, and took one hand from her hair and began trailing it down her neck, then her shoulder, then down to her breasts. He was hesitant, but then her began coursing them. She moaned slightly at his touch; it was like nothing before. He may be awkward and nerdy sometimes; But he had the hands of an artist. His touch was gentle, and also strong, and he always seemed to touch her in just the right place, just the right way.

She reached down, and slipped off her bathing suit bottoms.

They smiled, looking into each other's eyes.

"I am yours Spencer Reid."

"I love you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"How did this happen…" Reid shook his head, glancing back and forth between the little girl and Lila as he paced in his apartment.

"I'm pretty sure you are smart enough to know who I got pregnant Spencer." She said, half jokingly, half ice cold as she watched him pace. She noticed then he always glanced at his dresser every few seconds too. She eyes it, and he ran to her as she walked over to it. "What's in here, huh!" She yelled, already knowing the answer. Reid looked into her eyes, his breathing shaky. She shook her head, "I can't believe you!" She yelled, pushing him slightly.

Weak, he fell back slightly, and they continued yelling.

Haley just watched from the corner.

"How can you be doing this! You said you were getting help, that you were getting better!"

"I was, I AM!"

"REALLY! A lot of good it's doing!"

"I'm trying my best! I didn't think you'd show up like this!"

"Oh, so you just had sex with me and expected you'd never have to see me again huh!"

"You know that's not what I meant!"

"I don't know anything anymore! I can't believe you are acting this way when you have a kid!"

"Like I knew I even had one! YOU never bothered to even CALL and tell me on till she was SIX years old, when you just randomly come and drop this all on me-!" Suddenly Reid looked back at Haley. He knew it was his daughter. He felt it in his heart; when he looked into her big brown eyes. She was in the corner, watching them, starting to tear up as she stared up at her parents. His heart sank, and he couldn't yell anymore. Lila sighed, crossing her arms, and crying herself as she looked at her daughter; but shaking her head again when she glanced back at Reid's dresser.

Lila watched with arms still crossed as Reid walked slowly over to Haley. He knelt down; but he was so tall even on his knees she still had to look up to look him in the eyes. She had his eyes. It was like looking in the mirror. He lightly touched her face. "D…" Haley started to whisper, barley able to speak, "D-dad…"

It was over as soon as that one word left her lips.

His heart felt like it was melting in his chest, and he felt like something that had been missing from him was suddenly rushing back all at once. He took her in his arms, holding her as tightly as he could, and tears began to poor down both their faces; and down Lila's as well as she watched. "Yes, that's right. It's okay now Haley-Baby, dad's here now."

"Don't you and mommy love each other…" Haley whispered in his shoulder, still crying and holding him just as tightly.

He patted her back, and looked up at Lila, who was crying with her arms still crossed. Their eyes met as he answered his daughter, "Yes of course. Mommy and Daddy love each other VERY much."


	3. Chapter 2 just a little unwell

Criminal Minds Fan-Fiction

"Stranger Things"

_**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own criminal minds or it would not be a FAN fiction X3**_

_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_

_**WARNING: drug abuse, adult situations, possible spoilers, and mentions of rape in later chapters~ THNX~**_

Chapter two: Just a little unwell

He was a father now. His head was throbbing, his heart pounding in his chest. Lila and Haley were sleeping on his coach in the other room; the love of his life and his daughter. Right there. And he was in his bathroom; with a needle in his arm, his whole body shaking. He'd never felt so weak; so horrible. He didn't deserve them; and they didn't deserve this. Him. Who he was becoming. He hated himself for it; but somehow even still he couldn't stop. He just couldn't handle the things he saw when he closed his eyes without the drugs anymore. He knew Lila knew. She what was happening to him, and he knew she just had to watch as he fell apart, and he knew it killed her. And that killed him.

Tears began to form in his brown eyes, as he looked out at his family from the bathroom. He locked the door, and looked at himself in the mirror. He couldn't hold back his screams, like he was watching himself in a dream; as he punched the wall, and began throwing things around; including the drugs. He was to busy crying and throwing things he didn't notice Lila sigh as she listened from the other side of the door.

He could remember Tobias; and all his personalities. He remembered when he first was given the drugs. That first rush of relief; how much better he would feel. He remembered just wishing he would die, and he remembered all the nightmares he'd had since. He remembered how afraid he felt. But he felt more afraid NOW more than ever. Scared for his new family. He couldn't be like his father. He couldn't leave his lover and his child. He couldn't do that after what his father did to him. He hated his father, his father was a failure. Reid couldn't do that. He couldn't put his daughter through loosing her father. But what if he tried his hardest and still failed. What if she still hated him; or what if he only made things worse. He didn't know how to be a father; he wasn't even really sure how to love someone.

And Lila.

He sometimes found himself wishing he'd never fallen for her; that he'd never crossed the line with her. When they had done it; everything in his was screaming to think more carefully about what he was doing; but he didn't. For a genius he was pretty stupid. He loved her, more than anyone he'd ever loved anyone. But he wasn't even that sure of what love was. He'd never really felt love for someone, or felt it from someone els. His mother loved him; he knew somewhere deep in her heart. But she couldn't remember to eat and go to the bathroom let alone remember to love him. He never really learned to love; he wasn't even sure if love was something you could even learn. All he knew is growing up he'd never really needed it. But he needed it know.

His family needed him.

He felt like he needed them.

But they felt out of reach somehow.

After awhile, he collapsed on the bathroom floor, putting his face in his hands, and feeling completely defeated. But the worst part was he wasn't even sure what had just defeated him.

**~~~~~~~llllllllllllllllllll~~~~~~~**

"Blue blood blues" played from the old, beaten down black civic as it slowly parked into the lot in front of wal mart. There was only about three cars parked aside from the black civic; not a lot of people were there at four in the morning. The man stopped the engine, and the obnoxious music jerked into silence. And the man leaned his head against the car seat in the darkness, and waited.

As the man waited, his fingers tapped nervously on the dash bored, his foot tapping by the gas. He gulped a few times, his throat dry. He licked his lips, and glanced back and forth between the store entrance and his fingers. All his could think about was the boy. He saw him in his mind; all the time. He couldn't get the image out of his head. His heart raced, and his breathing was heavy with anticipation.

It was not to long before the tall; thin man came out of the store; holding his bags awkwardly along with another raggedy looking bag around his shoulder. It began to rain; and the man began to reusable a wet rat as he walked through it; his messy brown hair begging to become matted to his pale face and slender neck. The man watched him.

After Spencer Reid had gotten to his car, which was next to the black civic, and was fidgeting with his keys; the man stepped out of his car and came up behind the slender man.

Reid looked back.

As he saw the man, he became frozen.

Shakily, Reid whispered,"Tobias…"

**So yeah, that's chapter two. SHIT HOW THE HELL DID TOBIAS COME BACK! WHAAAAAAAAT! you'll just have to wait and see! BWAHAHAH!**

**PLEASE REVIEW! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! I will love you 4ever~ If I don't get reviews I don't feel like finishing the story, so yeah~ and I KNOW u all want to know what happens to DO IT! DO IT NOW~ TEEHEE~ 3**

**PS the chapters will be getting way longer PROMISE**


	4. Chapter 3 Wings to Dust, Lies to Trust

Criminal Minds Fan-Fiction

"Stranger Things"

_**Disclaimer: Obviously I do not own criminal minds or it would not be a FAN fiction X3**_

_**PLEASE REVIEW!**_

_**WARNING: drug abuse, adult situations, possible spoilers, and mentions of rape in later chapters~ THNX~**_

Chapter four: Wings to Dust, and lies to trust

His eyes fluttered open, and in a blur he began to see a light. The light was swinging; swaying in the darkness, hypnotizing him. Music played lightly in his head, lyrics circling on repeat. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness he realized it wasn't dark at all. It was such a bright white in the room it hurt his eyes. He was tied to a rusty wooden and metal chair, chained to it. It was dirty under the chair, as were his clothes. But the white walls were all spotless, completely bare and clean to the point of being unreal.

Directly in front of him was a red line, that ran directly from under the dirty chair he sat in onto the wall, and rapping around onto the ceiling and finally behind him.

He blinked several times, strange images flickering past his eyes suddenly. He saw brown butterfly wings flutter, then turn to dust. The dust blew away, and the wind became water. The water was dark, and then there was lightening. His eyes opened again, and he saw the room he was in again. And in front of him was Tobias. He was staring into his eyes, and Reid shook his head; wintering if the drugs were really starting to get to him. But Tobias was there as much as he was.

His face was expressionless, and he just stared in silence.

Suddenly his face was covered in blood. Then it wasn't. In seizer paces his face went back and forth this way. Suddenly he was in front of the young genius. He must be more tired than he thought… Reid thought to himself then. Tobias's face was clean now. Suddenly his face was inches from his own. "Save me, johnny, save me-" Tobias began to mumble. He was at the edge of the room now, standing on the red stripe, repeating his words quietly.

"No, I'm not J-johnny. I'm Reid. R-re-" Before he could finish Tobias was inches from him again. He look down, but he could feel the needle before he saw it in his arm.

His eyes widened, and he struggled in his chair. Tobias just sighed, "You'll feel better. It'll make things all better." He said, almost in a comforting voice. A twisted one.

Reid closed his eyes with a sigh, and felt the drugs take there effect. His racing heart began to slow, and as he had been rocking anxiously in his chair before he had calmed. He found his eyes closed. When he opened them again the room was dark, the only light a small light blob swaying in the shadows.

**~~~~~llllllllllllllllll~~~~~ **

"They found another body."

Reid heard this as his eyes fluttered open. Instantly his head shot up, and he looked around in shock. He was in the meeting room. It began to come back to him. The FBI. The BAU. He was a special agent. He was working on a case. It had just been a dream. He sighed, and looked up at the screen. JJ gestured to the dead girl. She was tossed in a bath tub, one arm out and twisted backwards, one leg cut off. Her blood covering the entire bath room. He looked back down at his hands and began to fidget as he listened to the team talk about the case. He couldn't even identify who was talking anymore. They all sounded like echoes in his head.

"This girl is different than the other three. The others were all blonde, why would he change his MO now-"

"Maybe he didn't have one, maybe it was coincidence, or he's trying to confuse us…"

"No, we don't matter. The only thing that matters to this sicko is the kill."

"Then why would he change what he likes so suddenly…"

"Are we sure it's the same guy-"

"Defiantly. The cuts shaped like J's in their wrists, theres no mistaking it. The only thing I still can't figure out is what the hell it means."

"I just can't figure this guy out."

"Well we better figure him out soon, or we're ganna be getting even more bodies. Let's go, the last body was in California right. Let's head out now."

"Right. Reid, come on, wake up man!"

Wake up. Wake up. Wake up.

"WAKE UP!" He hears him scream, a strong hand across his pale cheek. His eyes flash open, and he sees Tobias. "No time for sleep. No time. No time." He mumbled under his breath, looking at his wrist watch. Then suddenly he had another needle jammed in the young agent's arm. He screamed, and Tobias was gone. But his mumbling still lingered in the dark room.

Reid's breathing quickened, and his heart raced. Sweat dripped down his face, and he looked all around the dark room; searching for something. Anything. But there was nothing. Only blackness.

His eyes opened again, and the jet was dark. In the dim light he could see Hotch looking at his cell phone, the light from it illuminating his cold face; Morgan asleep, his headphones over his ears; Rossi and JJ sat on opposite coaches, sleeping by their lap tops. Reid was himself in a chair, his head had been rested on a small table; a glass of coffee next to him. He shook his head, and stood up; not letting himself fall back asleep. He was already sick of these crazy dreams, he could barley tell them from reality anymore.

He gently took some files from where JJ lay asleep, trying not to wake her. He went back to his seat, and taking another sip of coffee he looked the papers over. His jaw dropped then, and his heart stopped as he came to a realization. Under dirty, bloody water he would see her ripped up t-shirt. Printed on it was large, brown butterfly wings.


End file.
